We all received messages growing up that formed the way we understand and identify with our own sexuality. Messages can be good, bad, and anywhere in between. Without acknowledging or exploring these messages, we risk not knowing why we think the way do about important issues. Your relationship with sex is too important to ignore! If you have found your way to this blog, you may be struggling to understand yourself and why you behave/think/feel about certain sexual topics. Here are just a few common areas in which we receive messages about sexuality.
We learn from observation, modeling behavior, and communicating with others. I know we don’t like to think of our parents when thinking about sex, but they are integral in how our minds learned to understand sexuality. What do you remember observing or hearing (or not hearing) about sex growing up? Did your parents/caregivers openly discuss sex and safe sexual practices? Was there a value placed on sexual education, or did it all feel lost in translation?
Generational cohorts are people born around the same time/era. They tend to have similar characteristics and views that differ from other people born in different generations. Individuals who were teens in the ’80s and ’90s will have a much different story to tell about sexual education than my younger clients who were teens more recently. An example would be the increased education about consent and sexual practices. This is a change from generations past.
I live in Houston, Texas, one of the most diverse cities in America. Many of my clients who are from other countries have a different background on how sexuality was communicated while they were growing up. Cultural background can even vary from state to state in America. My clients from California may have a different background than my clients from Alabama when it comes to how sex was discussed as a child/teen. We want to explore all of this! It matters in forming who you are as an adult and how you approach sexuality.
I hope this starts a conversation for you that will be beneficial for both you and your partner(s). Make this a date night conversation and see where it takes you. Or, grab a paper and pen and start journaling for your own exploration. Who we are and how we got here are important areas of life to explore in all contexts, not just sex. However, if you can learn to discuss sexuality openly and honestly, there is no telling how far you can go with your own self-growth and development.
Hendrix Scott is experienced in working with couples and individuals who face varying difficulties, focusing on sexual and/or relational issues. Whether you are looking for education, conflict resolution, or ways to communicate your needs to your partner, she is trained to assist you with these concerns. She believes that all clients have the right to explore their needs in an environment that is non-judgmental and safe. She is here to assist with relational and personal concerns.
Hendrix Scott is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate and a Certified Sex Therapist Candidate. She received her Bachelor of Science in Psychology at Texas Woman’s University and her Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. She received additional certified training at Texas Sex Therapy Institute in Houston, TX.